I asked a question to a friend and the question goes like this: How do you deal with yourself knowing all the things that you are...your evilness and your goodness? He answered me with 3 simple words...FAITH, HOPE and LOVE. and i said Faith that? Hope for? Love? Love ruins...and he replied saying that believing that all the things happening now are just passing...even who you are will change and HOPEFULLY for the better...LOVE yourself...
and then i said that i have hurt so many people...people that i love, people that i never thought i would hurt this way...and i dont know how to face them and i think they also dont know how to face me....and he replied back...WITH LOVE..its like family you know...when you have a child and you think he is the greatest and the most amazing person, the moment he is not at par with your expectations, you push them away and send them out? NO! You go deep with them. Saying that you fail, i fail and lets go through this together, and that's a word that we usually use in the community, ACCOUNTABILITY...
i dont know where to go from that conversation...i dont even have the words to be able to explain why i was able to do what i did...all i know is that im praying for forgiveness...for mercy...for love...that they may still see the me that is good and sorry in all my sinfulness and wrongness....
