20 million diamonds...

one of my favorite post about you that i wrote September 02, 2009...so im just gonna give in to this nostlagic mode so that i can be over and done with this....


As a little girl i love looking at the stars, they are so magical for me, a world that i guess i can only imagine. Growing up i love learning about the constellations and stories behind them. I remember when i was in college whenever i get lonely, or i need to be alone with my thoughts or i just want to be sentimental ill go out to our "bubong", get a blanket and lay down watching 20 million diamonds. Whenever i write something then it always mention about stars or the title would be stars. Actually i have no idea why, why do i find such an inkling to them until last sunday...

Its hope...it signifies hope and dreams coming true for me...





While i was pondering on the events that happened in the last month between us, there were a lot of realizations and ahhhhh moments...I think I loved you too much that I exhausted you... I lost sight of my reality...I got so carried away with the fantasy I cannot tell what is real from what is not anymore...I made you my world that I know no other. All i did aside from working was waiting for you to get up, wait for your break, wait for your lunch break, wait at around 10 pm your time so that we can talk again...GOD! Even I would'nt be able to stand myself! hahahaha I have no other excuse, just only its because i love you so...but that's a lame excuse. I am again trying to know the woman i have become with you...

I now understand why you need a time out from me, aside from certain facts and issues that you need to settle, you needed to breathe...and thank you because by doing so I am also learning to breathe on my own again...

I am still yours, I am still here no matter what, I still love you so so much that I find myself talking to you in my head, in the bathroom, when i wake up, when i'm missing you i'll just suddenly blurt out your name, I dont know until when I will be like this (lokaloka hahahahaha) but one thing i am sure, I cannot go back to the way i was before, i can only move forward...And when that day comes, that one day that maybe you will come back you will find an updated version of me....



You are still my dream coming true...even if our ending in this lifetime is not according to fairy tales or magical dreams...

I wished...and so I hoped on a falling star...