Point Of Insanity

i gave up...i said i will try not to think about you...or read our conversations or look at your pics...i need you...you still bring a certain calm in me...i cried so hard this morning when i woke up because my phone was ringing and it was your voice calling me daba ko...it has been silent for the past days just so i wouldn't break into tears whenever it rings...i miss you so much...i want to give up...walk away...not to care anymore because its so hard...i don't know how to find my way back...i am traveling again to turkey on the first week next month and no matter how i try to be excited about it...i cant...because you will not be with me...i wanted so much to write you and beg you not to leave me, ill agree on anything or any condition as long as i know you are there, i still want to go and see you and talk to you but i am so scared that you will not show up...but as ate tin put it your not suppose to beg for love because it is freely given...i find comfort in the thought that you are okay and that you love me...and my heart feels you..i feel you calling out to me...God i think im going crazy but i do...and i would suddenly whisper your name and say its okay baba..im here...i love you...i hope you can hear my heart calling out to you as well and letting you know how much i love you...tomorrow's another day...i dont know how tomorrow will find me...