there's always gonna be another mountain
im always gonna wanna make it move…
always gonna be a uphill battle
sometimes im gonna have to lose
aint about how fast I get there
aint about what's waiting on the other side
it’s the climb….
i have been trying to write for days now but I cant seem to collect my thoughts and everything that I am feeling for the past weeks. There's confusion, there's sadness, there's disappointments but at the same time there's joy, and laughter and excitement. I cant seem to grasp my sanity this days…There's seems to be a lot of things that are happening all at once and all at the same time, not just to me but to people around me, to my daba, to my family and friends and every now and then I feel like drowning. At times I just want to shut it all out but I can't do that. I guess I am just tired, tired of worrying, tired of pushing and being strong...
At times I feel so guilty that all my frustrations are coming out and directed to you, when all this time all you have been doing is being patient and understanding and just simply making me happy. I know that I am being unfair when I make things harder for you…am I wanting more when you have actually given so much…I know that you feel torn, sana hindi na lang…I think im fucking this up already…you just love me so much that's why you are still here…
I miss you…I miss how we were…I miss our Monday and Tuesday night dates…I guess im also just mourning those days…and no matter how I try to hold on to that I cant. I know there will be more changes…but I am also sure that ill weather it all for you…
I will never lose hope…I will never give up…I'll be steadfast in my promise to you...
written: October 16, 2009
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